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Right. Ragu, aka Bolognaise Sauce.

Having ragged on Jamie’s gu (ooer), I feel I should throw my own hat into the red, bubbling, aromatic ring. So – what do I think should be done to improve Jamie’s ragu?

The short answer would be “I think it should be Heston Blumenthal’s ragu”. I’ll post a piece from the archives on cooking Heston’s Spag Bol on Tuesday. Despite the 8 hours it takes to cook, and the considerable cost of ingredients, Heston’s “Perfect” Spag Bol is indeed the finest example of the breed I’ve ever tasted, and ranks as one of the nicest-tasting meals I’ve ever cooked anywhere.

However, assuming that you don’t have 8 hours? Then here are five tips to spice up Jamie’s bland ragu:

Brown the damn meat . Jamie just chucks the meat in with the sauce. This is like putting up a sign saying “I don’t like flavour. Please make my ragu blander than Gordon Brown’s sex life.”. (I’m assuming here.) As you’re probably all sick of me saying by now, browning your meat stimulates the Maillard reactions, which cause an immensely complex cascade of flavour-producing reactions. I have no idea whatsoever why Jamie doesn’t do this – it’s just insane not to.

Add celery and carrot . The soffrito, the standard Italian package of vegetables added at the start of the meal, normally contains more than just onion and garlic. Exactly what’s in there is the subject of much debate and a certain number of Medieval city-state wars, but two of the most common ingredients are carrot and celery. There’s a reason for that – it’s that they make the taste of the ragu much richer and more complex. Both are, interestingly, from the same family of plants, and according to Harold McGee, add a “warm, woody” note to dishes, which is seriously lacking from Jamie’s effort. I also find the slight astringency of the celery adds something. By the way, if you hate celery and are going “eew” right now – most people don’t use celery right. Don’t use it as a vegetable. Use it as a herb.

Add milk Yes, milk. I normally add a bit in with the meat, after the onion and garlic are softened. Heston Blumenthal says that the proteins and sugars in the milk react to give the ragu extra body, and I could believe that. It also adds a bit of fat, which is something that’s definitely needed (see below). It’s also classic Italian, so it makes it doubly surprising that Jamie doesn’t include it. I first heard about this on “America’s Test Kitchen”, where they concluded that it made the best pasta sauce.

Add something sweet, something salt, something acid, and something fishy In Heston’s case, he adds Thai fish sauce, which is very fishy indeed, and sherry vinegar for the sweetness. I’ve tried that, but I find if you’re cooking just for one person, it’s very easy to get his flavourings out of whack. Instead, I tend to add a dollop of Oyster Sauce and a little bit of red wine vinegar – this one I’ve not seen anywhere, and it’s certainly not classical Italian, but it’s very nice, and gives a similar effect. Certainly, you should always add something slightly sweet to tomatoes – Harold McGee verifies that flavour chemists have tested and found both sugar and acidity intensify the flavour of tomatoes.

Add fat Heston’s Spag Bol uses about a ton of butter. I’d like to live past 35, so I tend to stir in a bunch of olive oil just before serving. This is an adaption of the technique Heston’s using, which is the French Monte Au Buerre, meaning “lift with butter”. Frankly, I prefer my approach for general use – Heston’s produces a very rich, heavy, filling sauce, wheras the olive oil is lighter and adds a fresh note to the proceedings.

There are dozens of other tips – add tomato leaves right at the end (intensifies flavour, again). Add stock. Serve with parmesan (really works). But, basically, if you can’t do better than Jamie’s ultra-basic ragu, you’re not trying hard enough.